So the quick story is: I was pregnant. And now I am not.
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I know!
And now for the long version. For the three of you still reading.
Yes. Imagine our surprise. A fourth child. That would come forth from the womb.
We had always wanted a fourth child, and for those who've followed our story, have spent the last three years attempting to adopt from Taiwan. And then from Oregon. And then after much work and expense, we decided to shut all that down and shout from the rooftops that we were DONE DONE DONE and henceforth gave away nearly every single last baby item that we could.
Rookie mistake.
So. Once Pa and I got past the shock (and the shock, it was palpable), we finally moved on to acceptance--and dare I say it--excitement. Well, as excited as we get. You know. "Excited."
And because my body knows only one way to do pregnancy--the hibernation way--I outgrew my fat regular clothes at four weeks. FOUR WEEKS. When the child was the size of a pea. A PEA!
We had held off telling the kids, well, most people really, until my nine-week appointment when I'd go to hear the heartbeat. Which at this point you've likely guessed--there was none. Wasn't really anything there to have a heartbeat, actually.
My midwife, who was spectacular (I might add), sent me off for this ultrasound and that ultrasound and this test and that test and all points led to the same conclusion: no child. My body just hadn't got the message yet and was still acting (and looking, my word) pregnant.
Knowing that we were heading into a holiday weekend, and that I'd be getting on a plane in a week to travel 'home' for a while--I knew my only option was to schedule a D&C. So that's how it went. This past Friday I had the surgery and have spent the rest of the weekend "laboring" to get my body de-pregnant. Which I am told will take two weeks. So you know, good times.
The happy news is that I got to entertain the nurses, anesthesiologists, doctors, and surgeons all along the way. If there's one thing I do well under stress, it's make people laugh. So that was oddly rewarding. And the other happy news is that I had friends who took good care of my kids at the last minute, day after day, while I buzzed in and out of my appointments.
For those concerned about our loss, I can assure you that this miscarriage was far less devastating than the first. It was still a loss, and one that will take a while to process, but we are doing well. And feeling particularly grateful for our health and the three kids we already have, who, I might mention, were superstars in taking care of me and have been helpful and kind through the whole roller coaster ride this has been.
(I decided to close comments on this post but if you want to e-mail me, you can.)
And that is all the news that is fit to print, this here Labor Day Weekend 2010.
