Halloween 2009: Part 2

Let's just get it over with:

Mmm-hmm. I can't believe it either. My baby boy has graduated out of superhero costumes. He loved, loved, loved being a vampire, and MY WORD, will you give a hand clap or seven at the makeup job?

I married well, y'all.

All those days of Hubs applying theater makeup have finally been put to good use. And Campers was the hit of the town. THE HIT. Very few of our friends even recognized him.

Then there's the Zig. Who was a pumpkin. Sorta. He didn't really care what he wore. He just wanted the candy.

And then, and then.

Miss Priss.

Complete with Makeup By Daddy as well.

It was her shoes that topped off the outfit -- and that girl walked for almost two hours, TWO HOURS in those plastic clodhoppers. She was also the hit of the party, and ate all of the attention up. ATE. IT. UP.

My first kid likes to be best, the second kid likes candy, and the third likes attention. So Halloween was a need-meeting holiday if ever there was one.

Speaking of party, Pa was single-handedly prepping the kids and dragging them all over town while I led an event at the local community center. I'm guessing 200-300 kids came to the party--it was a big gig involving crafts, games, giveaways, refreshments, and the like. I've been working on Halloween stuff for a couple months now. So you know. GOODBYE HALLOWEEN. IT'S BEEN REAL. AND IT'S BEEN FUN.

Well, it was a lot of fun, of course. And Pa's ping pong eyeballs were floating and scary and made me laugh (IN A NERVOUS GUT-WRENCHING FEARFUL SORT OF WAY) every time I saw them.

As for me, the fresh cider was *my* favorite part of the party. So I'm going to go kick back and drink a cup or seven and see you in a few weeks on the next blog post.

*smile*

Halloween 2009: Part 1

Never would I have guessed seventeen years ago that Pa and I would sit at home on a Friday night and make eyes at with each other.

What's not surprising is that my part of the project was buying the ping pong balls and keeping the kids from bumping the table while Pa put to work his mad skillz.

Don't they look purdy? They're going to be used at the annual neighborhood Halloween party I'm in charge of this year. They'll be floating in a cauldron and the kids will get to pick an eyeball which determines the type of prize they win. Heh heh.

Speaking of skillz, Pa and the boys carved up some pumpkin delights as well:

Ziggy's is on the left, then Susie's, then Campers'.

More to come.

Father's Day 2009

In the game "turnabout's fair play," *I* picked out our Father's Day restaurant for the Pa.

Mexican.

The food, that is.

And then we went for a little fro-yo. All because of my deep, abiding love for the Pa, of course.

But the rest of us had a good time as well.

Mother's Day 2009

Okay, I'm gonna take a little recess here and catch y'all up.

Since Mother's Day is such a huge celebration in our house (*COUGH*), I figured I'd let you see what all went on.

First, Pa was in the mood for Thai food so we drove OVER THE RIVER to the HILLY SIDE OF TOWN just so he could have some hot and holy basil fried rice.

Happy! Mother's! Day! To! Me!

Okay. So the food was pretty good. (I'm having panang curry.)

And the company entertaining:

And this is what I looked like as a mother in circa 2009.

Just so you know.

Lights In The Woods

Right around Christmas time (I KNOW, I KNOW, GET OFF MY CASE), I kept reading about this "lights in the woods" thing we could go to for free.

It all sounded so outdoorsy, so Christmas-spirity, so easy on the pocketbookety. So, each weekend when the event rolled around, I'd ask Pa if he wanted to go. His answer was always the same:

"MEH."

Finally I just got a burr in my saddle and said to the fam, "WE ARE GOING."

And so we did.

We traveled about 20 minutes out of the city, parked the van, and found this:

I have not heard the end of it YET.

I, of course, HAVE A GOOD SENSE OF HUMOR and laughed my fool head off while I walked alongside the SINGLE STRAND OF LIGHTS in the woods.

The kids took on the mood of their Pa.

"This is it? This is ALL there is? What a waste of time!"

Which, of course, only added to my non-stop giggling.

Here we are, crossing a bridge in the dark of night:

I just dare you to find a strand of lights in that shot.

Fortunately, much to Pa's level of happiness, the neighborhood that hosted the big and flashy "Lights In The Woods" also had a big kid-fest downtown.

So the kids got to decorate cookies:

While the Ma and the Pa had free ice cream:

It was a perfect end to a perfectly hilarious evening.

It's the stuff that memories are made of, fer shure.

Gingerbread House 2008

Let's just hop in our time machines and head back to December '08.

Yes, I'm behind.

Yes, you are going to be reading about Christmas stuff in the middle of January.

HO HO HO.


A wise parent* once told me that any holiday project done once becomes a holiday project done forever.

Being the idiot that I am, I had to learn that little lesson the hard way.

And so began the Second Annual Gingerbread House disaster tradition. A tradition which happily does not include me. One thing I have learned is that the best place for me to shoot off to while the troops build the house is the moon. It's quiet, it's tidy, and it's far, far away.

Let's take a look at the photographic evidence, provided by the Pa.

Earth Exhibit A: The Energy Level at 45698234%

Earth Exhibit B: The Easy Availability Of Massive Amounts Of Sugar

Earth Exhibit C: The Sitting On The Table And Making A 472 Square Foot Mess:

Earth Exhibit D: The Finished Product

The great thing about that gingerbread house is that it sat on my counter for a good four weeks. Four weeks! Of kids scamping! And begging! For a piece! To eat!

Fortunately, my good friends The Ant Family came around shortly before Christmas, and rendered the house inedible.

Oh taste and see that the Lord is good. Amen. And Amen.

Never fear, though. There will be another house next year. Tradition demands it. The kids will guarantee it. And I'll get my annual trip to the moon.

(If you're bored, you can check out the house from 2007. Don't say I didn't warn you.)


*Hi, Ruth!

Christmas Day: Part 3

I'm going to do a little flashback here...to Christmas 2007...

See that baby girl? She's doing a little trick we like to call "Sitting Still."

Maybe you've heard of it? Experienced it?

Maybe you have children who do that amazing little feat?

If so, I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT IT.

Moving on.

Christmas 2008.

I took each of the boys on a separate trip to Goodwill to buy presents for the other two siblings. It was a raging success, cheap to boot, and look what the Zig brought home for his sis:

Pom poms.

Perfectly, gloriously, spastically suitable.

Do you think she likes them?

Christmas Day: Part 2

"Look at me, Ma! I've got these itty bitty hands, but I can open my own presents!"

"Is this what I do with this?"

"No? How about this?"

"Oh! This?!? Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!"

Insanity often comes in some pretty small packages.

Christmas Day: Part 1

Eating cinnamon rolls on Christmas morning is a family tradition of ours that goes waaaay back to when *I* was a kid.

So, you know. Nearly sccchhhhhffffoooouurrr decades ago.

The cinnamon rolls are always made from a can and the frosting is always brightly colored.

Don't mess with tradition, people.

And while I was busy doing who knows what -- pretty much creating the show and holding it up at the same time -- Pa kept the kids busy with the camera:

(You'll notice that someone continues her role as Showboat and someone else has yet to pull that blasted front tooth out.)

We continued the morning fun by reading the Christmas story. Funny thing -- each year the story keeps getting shorter and shorter. This year?

"Baby Jesus was born!"

Okay. So it wasn't that bad. But we've all got our limits.

Campers got to pick the story book this year, and he read to the rest of us.

(Oh! The glory of having a seven-year-old.)

Suz then made sure to get a good look at the (pages fully-intact) book:

And then we fiiinnnnaaaaallly moved on to the presents...

After they were sorted, counted, and laid out in present-opening-order.

Don't hate.

More to come.

True Loves

Oh, you know. Pa and I are meant for each other. Yada yada yada. But that's not what I'm talking about.

I'm talking about THIS:

Oh, holla!

THE FIVE-HOUR VERSION OF PRIDE AND PREJUDICE, PEOPLE.

IT IS ALL MINE; YOU CANNOT HAVE IT.

I WILL WATCH IT EVERY NIGHT UNTIL IT'S BURNED ON MY RETINAS.

So, if I put the watching of that movie alongside my addiction to PathWords, I can pretty much guarantee I will never have another productive day the rest of my life.

Meanwhile.

Continuing in the category of "gifts that feed--the--soul," we have Pa with his Christmas loot:

The man said he wanted chocolate for Christmas. So that's what he got.

Can anyone top a pile of gourmet chocolate and Colin Firth?

The Calm Before The Christmas Storm

There's usually one block of time every day where our house can be described as "calm." It's the 1:00 AM to 7:00 AM slot, but even that is regularly interrupted with a stuffed-up crying 2YO.

Pa can never figure out why I stay up so late at night, and I tell him it's because I enjoy the quiet and I--can't--really--enjoy--the--quiet--while--I'm--asleep.

SI-UH-LENT NIGHT! HO-UH-LY NIGHT!

So.

Christmas!

I'd like to say that Christmas Day is a beautiful time of celebration and meaningful moments, but it's a whole lot more like herding cats.

Pa's words.

Fortunately, the motivator of "presents" does wonders for the kids' behavior. For one day out of the year, they are super-agreeable about taking a bath, getting dressed, brushing their teeth, and posing for pictures.

Yes, we make them do all that before opening presents.

IT'S THE MOST! WONDERFUL TIME! OF THE YEAR!

So.

It's amazing how "smiling for the camera" is a breeze when it's linked to "presents being opened."

I am not exaggerating when I say that shot was the first one we took.

See?

Bribery works.

And most delightfully on Christmas Day.

Ho, ho, ho.

Lots more Christmas stories to come.

Merry Christmas

May your day be merry and bright.

Thanksgiving 2008

Since Christmas is just a week away, I thought I'd better pull out the Thanksgiving pictures before it's November TWO-THOUSAND-NINE.

Each year I make Pa drag out his camera for our family picture. By some act of the god* Canon and his goddess cousin Tripod, we got this:

Four out of five of us smiling! A record!

So anyway. My neighbor-friend and I decided (read, "I did a distinct amount of bossing") that *she* would clean house and host and *I* would trash my kitchen with a slight majority of the food prep.

HELLO, FABULOUS IDEA, if I say so myself.

Seeing as I would have needed to call in a dumpster for the crumbs under my table alone...it was good to just pick up and go next door to find this:

Lovely! Just lovely!

Oh!

And the people were nice too. Besides the Ma and Pa clan and our neighbor-friends, we also dined with another mom-friend and her boys. Total adults: 5. Total kids: 7. All four-and-under except one.

Good friends, good food.

And since Pa didn't include any Thanksgiving food porn pics on his site, I'll do that here:

Apple Crumb Pie.

Mmmmm.

(I had Paula Deen's apple butter pumpkin pie as well.)

(Ahem.)

Anyone have a favorite Thanksgiving dish that they still remember eating three weeks ago?

* We've been studying Egyptian gods for a few weeks now, and just today we moved on to the Greek gods. So now it seems that everything I type is either "god" this or "goddess" that. Don't hate.

Christmas Lights With Kids

No, we haven't actually gone to see any lights yet. We've just wrote about doing that. "We" being "me," with Pa manning the cam.

See the full article over at katu.com.

Meanwhile, I'll see if I can get some Thanksgiving photos posted before Christmas comes around.

Gobble Gobble

Don't mind me, I'm in a turkey-induced coma.

Even though I haven't had turkey since Thursday. And it wasn't that much.

But still.

I'll be back to my regularly-scheduled snarking soon enough.

Until then, enjoy looking at the turkeys.

Happy Halloween

Happy Halloween from the living-life-on-the-edge-with-our-scary-pumpkin-carvings crew.

The Old Orange Jack O'Lanterns They Ain't What They Used To Be

Kids got to carve their first pumpkins this year.

Looks like Campers was really digging it.

Same with the Z.

Course, there's these newfangled tools and stencils out now where you can create all sorts of fain-cee designs:

Bless Pa's heart. He corralled three kids, two pumpkins, and several sharp knives all while I was out of the house.

Brave Man.

But this was the result:

A whole bunch of squashy pumpkins.

And lest the grandparents worry about the skull and crossbones, that's not the half of it.

Wait 'til you see their tattoos.

(Snnnnnerrrrrrk.)